My Grandfather

My grandfather passed away on Monday. Normally I wouldn’t say anything, it was something that would happen eventually and now that it has happened, we should move on. But my grandfather was more than just a grandparent – I wouldn’t even be where I am today if not for him. I want to write this so I’ll always remember how much he loved me, and how much I love him.

I never though about it much, but when he was ill in the hospital I knew I had to tell him how much he meant to me, and how much he had done for me and my family. We’re not an overly sentimental family, so a lot of these words were left unsaid. And for my grandfather, a lot of what he did that made my left better, he did out of responsibility as the head of the family. He did this not just for me, but for countless sisters, nephews, nieces, cousins and in-laws, and random people (of course I got a little bit extra, being the grandchild.heh).

When I think about all the things he’s done, expecting nothing in return, I feel so proud. It’s weird, when he was alive, if anything happened in the family, I knew he’d always fix it. I think I always expected him to be there, fixing things and making everything okay. But now I actually look back and I think, My god, he did so much for so many people – he changed lives, and what the heck have I done? Over a quarter of a century on this earth and I’ve helped zero people – and I can’t even admit to having the active intention to. What sort of people exist now that my grandfather seems like a myth?

Why aren’t I sadder about his passing? I am sad, very, very sad. I love him and I’ll miss him so much. But he had people, not just me, who really and truly loved him; and he really and truly loved us. He had a full life – adventure, danger, romance. He cheated death several times (the number varies according to whom you ask). I feel like there is nothing to regret here with him. Oh, I wish he had stuck around a little longer, maybe met his great-grandkids. But that isn’t a real regret. So that is all. A life well-lived, no regrets and full of people who loved and were loved by him.

Snow White and the Huntsman Review

So I watched it last night (sneakily and with much drama involving Seth’s car breaking down, having to borrow my mother’s car under false pretences because I was supposed to watch Prometheus with my brother today but excused myself to study – and then went of happily to watch SWATH). And I have to say it was worth watching. It’s not a perfect movie – some parts are a bit rough and just unnecessary, but otherwise I enjoyed it. Because Chris Hemsworth.

I know everyone wants to know just how bad Kristen Stewart was. Because she was pretty bad in Twilight, wasn’t she? I sometimes think I could take the movies seriously if I pretended she was Ellen Page or Falco from the Neverending Story. Anyway. I think that if the director wanted an awkward, innocent, not particularly likeable but doesn’t inspire strong feelings either, very SAP princess, then she did a good job. And I think that’s what they wanted right? Some kind of dorky noob princess. Otherwise I can’t explain her casting. But aside from that I had a real problem reading her expressions.

I know, I know. Old complaint. Everyone says the same thing. But…I WITNESSED it. Like when the Huntsman asks her why she didn’t tell him she was the princess, she doesn’t look like UH OH BUSTED. She just sort of looks mildly uncomfortable. And when the Huntsman compliments her on her armour – the scene after he saves her life by kissing her – she does this thing. With her face. It’s like. I don’t know how to describe it. At first I thought she was being shy, but then, there wasn’t enough shyness in her expression. It was just like, oh my lip’s kind of itchy and did you say something? I was really confused about how she felt about the Huntsman. And about Will. And also about Ravenna (do you hate her, Snow White? Or pity her? Or want to hug her? Or lead a rebellion against her? What is it? TELL ME!!). She really reminded me of Shaw’s Saint Joan + a really watered down Mononoke.

Charlize Theron was awesome. Exquisite. Occasionally OTT, but nothing too horrible. And I felt so bad for her. I agreed with her most of the time. You’re totally right Ravenna. Why wouldn’t I support you? Men are terrible and women are just as bad, and no one deserves to live. You don’t feel that way about Snow. I don’t even know exactly what her fight is. At one point they’re stuck at the Queen’s gates and the old dude says to turn back, and Snow says, ‘No, I promised them!’ Promised who? Promised what? Why don’t you look like Arwen? WHY?

And I’m sorry to be a shallow prig but. This is Snow White. Snow White is more beautiful than the Queen. Kristen Stewart is not as beautiful as Charlize Theron. I’M SORRY. I hated that I kept judging her for it. I tried to stop myself by saying that clearly, when the mirror meant fairest, it meant inner beauty. Right? But then why was Ravenna the fairest of them all all this while? And why, when heralding Snow’s usurpation of her, did the mirror tell Ravenna that she was once the fairest, but there exists another who is now fairer than her? Clearly any sow on the roadside would have won the inner beauty contest against Ravenna. Clearly they were both being judged based on their one similarity – feminine good looks.

It really bothered me. Actually, now that I think about it, the Huntsman and the Queen are the only characters that have any depth. William and Snow are insipid – and thus suitable for each other. Hey. Wait. Now I’m getting a little upset. Snow doesn’t exactly have much of a personality. No spunk, no Juno. How the heck did someone like the Huntsman – who had a sad backstory, who did a heel-face turn, who is an actual character – end up falling in love with her (or at least liking her enough to kiss her momentarily cold, dead corpse)?? Because she’s beautiful? Because she’s an accidental healer? I can’t think of why else. And that’s really just damned insulting. Why is William so devoted to her? Because he remembers her as some idealised playmate? Because now she’s beautiful? What? I didn’t understand it at all. What if she had been fat and ugly? Would he still have continued his quest for her? I better stop here. I’m making myself upset.

Anyway. 2.5 shiny balls of light out of 5.