Less Angry Post

Sugarplum and I were to make lists to see what we had in common and if we could use them for wedding-card inspiration. I made a list…he didn’t. Not really. So we talked about it and I helped him make the list. We had done games, books, etc. Then came movies.

SP: Star Wars.

Me: Of course.

SP: I like Star Trek too.

Me: *silence*

SP: Okay, I don’t like Star Trek.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman. I wasn’t expecting much from it, but the trailer looks pretty good. It might shape up to be a good retelling, and I like retellings. Except Hollywood has made retellings into a garbage dump of tired, overused cliches that no one cares about anymore. Thanks, Hollywood (and before anyone says I shouldn’t watch Hollywood movies if I’m going to be a bitch about Hollywood, then let me say that if there was no Hollywood, I wouldn’t give two shits except that there wouldn’t be anymore The Superficial updates and the possibility of a Firefly reunion would be well and truly scrapped).

But this retelling here of Charlize Theron’s boobs (that Seth claims he didn’t notice. Yeah right) and K-Stew in armour looks interesting at least. Thor showing up wasn’t as jarring as I thought it would be. And I love all that raven shit going down. Let there be ravens! And bats! Hopefully there’ll be a slinky black cat that bursts into a gazillion black geometric crystals when K-Stew White nudges it with her steel toe.

What I don’t really buy is Stewart as Snow White. She doesn’t look like a princess. You know who looks like a fairy tale princess? Liv Tyler. Amanda Seyfried. Emily Blunt. Megan Fox (okay, she doesn’t look like a princess. but she’s stupidly hot). Stewart looks like a butch. I don’t mean she looks like a man or she looks like a transvestite. I just mean that if in Twilight while she was moping around in her stupid boy clothes of jeans and shapeless top, she had grabbed her blonde best friend and made out with her in some corner I would not have been surprised. I would have been, I knew that would happen. Because I’m psychic.

And come on. Do you really look at Stew and think, Goddamn, she looks like a fairytale princess? Hell no! I look at her and think, at some point in her fairytale, she’s going to wear man clothes. And since she wore armour, I guess I’m right and this is the fairytale for her. But I still don’t buy it. Maybe I’m just used to more conventional princesses like Aurora and Ariel and Belle who were just really pretty and flounced around in dresses and sang. Stewart doesn’t look like she’d ever sing. Not to the woodland animals, and not to her prince charming (about that. who the heck is the guy? i can tell he’s pretty unimportant from the trailer since he got like 0.45 seconds that weren’t even a headshot. but do they really have to choose the most insipid looking people to play princes now? it’s like insipid people suddenly have a wider range of characters to choose from – prince charming, best friend, villain, reality tv star. it’s like that emo hipster guy in Red Riding Hood. seriously wtf). Stewart looks like she’d open her mouth and breath depression and dysthymia on everyone until they wilted and died and their souls looked just like her face. I don’t mean people’s souls look like butches, I meant they look perpetually suspended between abject misery and uncertain uncertainty. Like limbo. Stewart’s face looks like limbo.

Anyway, I’d watch it. Even if the trailer music reminded me of Tron.

This Post

Reading the newspapers really pisses me off nowadays. I think to myself, how can these people write this sort of absolute and total BS? I mean, really. I know I technically write for the papers too, so I figure these people are similar to myself. So when they file stories or whatever, do they roll their eyes? Snigger when writing down quotes from local politicians about issues that involve the people? Do they? I don’t really blame them though, not many people have the freedom of living purely by their principles. We all need to put bread on the table.

So after the whole Seksualiti Merdeka fiasco where the sexist, moronic Bung Mokhtar gave his 2 sen why it cannot beheld (It will promote baby dumping. Baby. Dumping. Because couples of the same gender have tonnes of children they don’t know what to do with, yeah? Idiot. The highest section of society that contributes to baby dumping is actually married couples who can’t afford another child. I do believe that going into politics immediately makes you incapable of using Google or your brain), comes the PPSMI thing.

Which I shall not talk about. Because I’m starting to feel like the purpose of my writing is just to complain complain complain. Sure, that’s what I do a lot of in real life, but it should stay there. Some of it anyway.

Readings@Seksan

Went to my first Reading for Readings (or was it by readings?or what? it doesn’t really make sense either way) and it was not as bad as I thought (mostly because I went with greg and seth).

The lineup was, I think, great. It was mostly non-fiction, dealing with serious issues. Even the travel writer read an excerpt about her visit to a really old jail in the Philippines. There was a university professor (whom greg and I had interviewed previously), a politician, the travel writer, a journalist who had just come back from Afghanistan (awesome or what eh?), a dude who wrote a Malaysian Zombie apoc piece and PKR’s Nik Nazmi Nik Ahmad. And they were all incredibly interesting and incredibly intelligent.

I know it sounds terrible, but I was really expecting some mediocre self-satisfied fiction (maybe because I’m afraid people would see me that way if I were to read my works?) and really weird poetry, but this was fascinating stuff. I don’t know if it was because it was mostly non-fiction, hopefully I’ll go again and find out. Apparently they’re changing the date for Nov’s readings because there’s a (writing festival? book fest? something) going on in Penang involving Bernice Chauly (yum). Anyway, can check out dates here.

And at the end Reza Salleh played a few songs. He is so cute and his voice is disgustingly awesome. He could do a bit better in the lyrics department though, but otherwise super cool.

And later I went for Halloween and didn’t take any photos. So I shall dress up again and take a photo of myself to preserve the memory of my steampunk aviator. I’m so pleased with myself tbh. Hahahaha.

Elie Saab is a Real Bastard

It’s really difficult to blindly make arrangements for a wedding. Make a dress, choose a hotel, make a guest list, choosing a church and hundreds of little things. I think that’s why people have themes and colourboards. I envy those people who have the opportunity to be who they are on their wedding day and choose to do what they like. Sadly I will not be able to elope or have a retro-geeky wedding because all the old people would go WTF? Normally I couldn’t be bothered, but all this catering-to-old-people traditions is very important to the Chinese, and I respect that. But there goes the Kraken on my wedding card.

Anyway, I’ve been looking at wedding gowns (because thinking of the other things makes me nauseous) and I have a few that I like a lot. Initially I wanted a vintage look, but I don’t know.

Initially I was in love with the back of this dress. But when I finally saw the front I was…underwhelmed. I did not want to look like a tree trunk from the front on my wedding day.

Oh, such loveliness! I don’t know if it’s possible to find such lace, and while the butterfly jacket is lovely, I don’t know if I want fiddly things on my dress.

I like everything about this dress – the cut, the fabric, the cute cap sleeves and old romantic feel. But it doesn’t really pass the imagination test – imagine yourself standing at the beginning of the aisle. Does the dress make you look like you’re wearing a fancy dress or a wedding gown? Yet I don’t know where I would ever wear such a fancy dress. Sigh.

Seth and I both liked the bodice of this gown. It’s adorable. But I don’t want no poofy skirts. I will never have this body again, especially once I pop out kids, so I don’t see the point of covering it up. Also poofy skirts would make me look frumpy and ridiculous.

I don’t know if I like the dress or the girl, because I just realised I saved another similar dress with her as well. It is a nice dress, but doesn’t pass the imagination thing again.

This dress for now is the most likely. Except I want delicate little cap sleeves. Nyeknyeknyek. Also, I don’t care if Seth thinks it looks like mosquito netting. If men dressed their brides, they’d all look like strippers.

The Trouble With Blazers

I enjoy my job, and one of the reasons why I like it so much is because of the lack of dressing up. While it causes me pangs of dissatisfaction that I can’t wear pretty clothes, at the same time I’m relieved that I don’t have to pour in money and effort for a different outfit everyday. So work outfit = Tank top + jacket/sweater + jeans.

But I also have to interview formal types, and I’ve gotten of so far by wearing vintage-y skirts and plain tops that wouldn’t have survived five minutes in the jaws of the corporate world. Sometimes I wear my brown trousers and a plain top. That’s about it. It’s boring.

Yet at the same time, I don’t want to dress up too much because most of the people I interview are men. And the thing about Malaysian men is that they would prefer to conduct the interview with your boobs rather than your face. Or they stare at your legs. Chest or legs. Your choice. Doesn’t matter if you have not much of either, if it’s not completely covered up, they’ll stare at it. It’s creepy and I don’t understand why it’s still happening, especially since I interview professors and such, but whatever. I could beat them up but a more pressing concern is How to dress nicely without looking too nice and revealing too much?

The answer is a nice blazer. Covers everything if you’re wearing pants, and if you’re wearing a skirt, wear tights too. The problem with blazers is that I drown in them. I look like a teenager who swiped her mum’s jacket. At the same time, I don’t know if the blazer should be black, as I don’t own a pair of black pants. I did, once, but it seems to have made off with itself. And my skirts vary in range from yellow to green to black to candy striped. Maybe I should stick to a black blazer and get more black tops. So that I can be even more boring than I already am.

Just as a reminder to myself, here are a few cute blazers I found at http://clothesbucket.blogspot.com.

Isn’t this adorable? White blazers are a no-no though. They will not survive me.

Double breasted and grey. No doubt I will look like I have the upper body of the original Hulk.

I know, it’s really cute isn’t it?

Missy Poo

I discovered that the cat has infested the bed with fleas. Why do I say that Missy infested the bed and not the fleas? Because I blame her directly. The fleas do not know what they are doing. They are but fleas. But Missy! Missy knows she isn’t supposed to sleep in our beds, although she does so on a regular basis and I occasionally carry her in and place her there myself when I am feeling especially like chickenshite. But she should know better, really.

I suspect that she isn’t afraid of me you know. She flops all over my books and the laptop when I’m doing work at the dining table, but the moment my mother turns the doorknob, she scampers for dear life, her little barrel of belly fat wobbling giddily as she leaps from table to chair, and if she feels like the effort, to floor. Why don’t I inspire such discipline?

She is now sleeping soundly beside me. White and fluffy with one paw over the other. OH GOD WHY DID YOU MAKE CATS SO DAMNED CUTE?? She will never fear me like this. I will live forever as the owner cats can walk all over, especially when they’re hungry at the break of dawn.

Third World Problems: Artificial Skinny v Natural Skinny

CML just got back from Korea and was telling us about the girls there.

CML: They’re all damn tall and damn slender. And pretty! I mean, their ratio of good looking to average is very good. No fat or ugly people.

Me: Oooooooooooooooooooo you mean like in the Philippines? Or was that Thailand where everyone is skinny and pretty?

Seth: Or like in Cambodia. The girls are all exotic and skinny there!

Me: That’s because they are starving.

CML: That’s exactly what I wanted to say about the Philippines.

The Undrowned Child

I bought this book solely based on its cover and cover blurb. I didn’t at all realise that it was a children’s book, what with the in-thing now to have illustrated covers for all genres (which I like, really. like little works of art on your shelves. I’m one of those people who’d buy a book they’re iffy about if the cover is pretty).

It’s really a wonderful book – literally full of wonders. It reminded me of a small-scale Golden Compass, except a lot less convoluted and I felt a lot less confused reading it. The book is weaved around Teodora, an orphan, and the prophecy of the Undrowned Child and Bajamonte Tiepolo, the Traitor. There’s also another character, the adorable Venetian the prophecy calls the Studious Son. Bajamonte (the Italian version of Benjamin?) had attempted to overthrow The Doges of Venice once before, but his baddened magic was defeated, and his bones and spirit were cast asunder, never to be united for fear of him returning to his former power. But he comes back, just when Teodora is in Venice and she is pulled into a world of mermaids, cat ladies, handsome ringmasters and traitorous ‘friends’.

I enjoyed this book because of Teodora. Reading it, I could easily imagine my eleven-year-old self creeping about an antique bookstore and smelling the books. Books smell delicious! Why should one not smell them? She was clearly a child, but a mature one. Sometimes I find young adult/ children’s novels with characters that sound like adults, but without believable character maturity (Ender’s Game, I’m looking at you). The good in this book are clearly good, but not one dimensional. And the bad are clearly bad, which made me quite happy. I like a straightforward book once in awhile.

And the mermaids! I loved them, with their salty tongues and spicy curries. I loved the Grey Lady too; the fantastic characters in this book have personalities of their own, rather than just being there for ostentation. Like, Ooooh, look at me, I have talking polar bears and witches and demons and flying pigs and whatever.

I fully recommend this book to everyone, and especially people who love to read. Although female protagonists who claim to be ‘scholars’ and ‘love books’ (I’m looking at you Merit from the disgustingly atrocious Friday Night Bites) are a dime a dozen nowadays, Teo doesn’t take pride in loving books, but neither is she ashamed of it. She’s just a child, and she acts like a child, and it made me wish I was a child reading this.