Pratchett and the Leash

After seeing an adorable photo of an obedient, neat looking cat at the end of the leash, I decided that I would once again attempt to leash Pratchett. As I leashed him, a Voice said, Do You Remember What Happened The Last Time You Tried To Leash Him? (It sounded very similar to the Voice that said Do You Remember What Happened The Last Time You Decided To Eat A Whole Bag of Chachos With Braces? [I had a jaw ache for a week, that’s what happened] I ate the bag of Chachos anyway).

The last time I leashed Pratchett, he disappeared under the bed for awhile and the reappeared sans harness. MY CAT IS HARRY HOUDINI!!! Hairy Houdini? And then he sulked the whole day like a right snotty little prince. But he is so cute that it was okay, and I didn’t leash him for awhile. Until I saw that picture.

So now Pratchett is sitting as far away from me as possible, with his little polka dot harness on. I did attempt to walk him, only all those ‘walk’ attempts turned into ‘drag’ or ‘ineffectual tugging’. But he needs some discipline in his life, and since I’m not doing it, I shall let the harness do the job.

Is this a dashing kitty or what? Look at that handsome, disciplined stance. One day Pratchett too will achieve it. 

Ana Steele – farmer?

I have been reading an awesome chapter by chapter review of 50 Shades of Grey here. The lady reviewer has now gone on to the next book, 50 Shades Darker. And she is just as hilarious. I have no intention of reading this book, but I do have one niggling question about the heroine.

As I understand it, Steele (really. Steele. that’s kind of lame. like when you used to make up character names as a child and they’d all be like Annemarie Fyres or Jezebel Sexyface.  or whatever) doesn’t own a laptop or a handphone. And she’s a literature student? Something like that.

I have a few questions, if this is true. i. Is she very poor? Because that would explain, and I would understand, why she doesn’t have a laptop or a phone. But if she isn’t: ii. Is she Amish? That is the only other explanation I can find for this.

Because does she think people study literature by staring at the soil under their feet and then writing about it? Perhaps she sends in reports based on her euphoric feelings after reading Tess of the D’urbervilles, no citations or references needed. Perhaps her university library has every single reference book and journal ever written on every topic in literature that she might happen to check up on, thus leaving her no reason to own a laptop (seeing as she has no friends aside from the one she lives with, it’s not like she needs the laptop to socialise).

Maybe she’s so hipster she doesn’t want a laptop. She writes all her assignments by hand and thinks Eliza Bennet is the best heroine in the entire universe ever. Maybe it’s just me and the really horrible educational resources in Malaysia, but I can’t imagine being a student without a laptop. Where do you type your assignments? Surf the web? Mock your friends? Access tutorials? Waste time watching Youtube videos?

Yet I will still not read 50 Shades, because it sounds terrible. And reading terrible books turns me into a F***ing Angry Person (FAP for the uninitiated *snigger*).

Quinoa =/= frog poison

Yesterday my mother informed me that she had had an argument with her boyfriend (?) about the word ascetic. Apparently ascetic means someone who denies pleasure. I just thought it meant someone who likes studying (that’s the word they use to describe magicians and scholars in every book ever what).

I thought to myself, what did Seth and I talk about today? I sent  him a picture of Kat Dennings because her boobs looked exactly like those owned by that actress who played Saffron on Firefly (forgot her name), and then we exclaimed over the Kuratas. Because the Kuratas is awesome shit okay, even though a hamster could overtake it on the road.

To each his own I guess.

PS I also discovered that quinoa is not, in fact, a poison that the native people of South America dip their arrows in before hunting down a herd of guinea pigs. It is a fluffy rice thing. Fascinating!