Beneath My Hands – Leonard Cohen

 

Beneath my hands
your small breasts
are the upturned bellies
of breathing fallen sparrows.

Wherever you move
I hear the sounds of closing wings
of falling wings.

I am speechless
because you have fallen beside me
because your eyelashes
are the spines of tiny fragile animals.

I dread the time
when your mouth
begins to call me hunter.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want to summon
the eyes and hidden mouths
of stone and light and water
to testify against you.

I want them
to surrender before you
the trembling rhyme of your face
from their deep caskets.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want my body and my hands
to be pools
for your looking and laughing.

Circuses and Quokkas

 I have spotted my next victim: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I picked it up at the university library where it was situated beside the books of the Twilight series (foreshadowing?). When I saw it, and read the words ‘epic romance’ I knew it had to be the next horrible fantasy book I read. And the first four pages didn’t disappoint. While not horrible (A Discovery of Witches started out awesomely, btw), it was uneven and there was a smattering of trying-too-hard and Mary Sueness already visible (I am afraid that if I ever do write a book, those will be some of the failings). 

I will be very perversely disappointed if this book turns out to be a good read. Meanwhile, I am as happy as a quokka.

 

Quokkas are really happy

Pratchett and the Leash

After seeing an adorable photo of an obedient, neat looking cat at the end of the leash, I decided that I would once again attempt to leash Pratchett. As I leashed him, a Voice said, Do You Remember What Happened The Last Time You Tried To Leash Him? (It sounded very similar to the Voice that said Do You Remember What Happened The Last Time You Decided To Eat A Whole Bag of Chachos With Braces? [I had a jaw ache for a week, that’s what happened] I ate the bag of Chachos anyway).

The last time I leashed Pratchett, he disappeared under the bed for awhile and the reappeared sans harness. MY CAT IS HARRY HOUDINI!!! Hairy Houdini? And then he sulked the whole day like a right snotty little prince. But he is so cute that it was okay, and I didn’t leash him for awhile. Until I saw that picture.

So now Pratchett is sitting as far away from me as possible, with his little polka dot harness on. I did attempt to walk him, only all those ‘walk’ attempts turned into ‘drag’ or ‘ineffectual tugging’. But he needs some discipline in his life, and since I’m not doing it, I shall let the harness do the job.

Is this a dashing kitty or what? Look at that handsome, disciplined stance. One day Pratchett too will achieve it. 

Pratchett the kitten

I was checking out photos of ginger cats on the internet. I love ginger cats. 

Me: OHMYGOD! LOOK AT THAT CAT! HE’S SOO HANDSOME! LOOK AT THAT HANDSOME ORANGE TOM! GRRR! I NEED TO TAKE HIM HOME! SO CUTE!

Anushia: Does Pratchett know you’re cheating on him?

Me: …

NO ONE IS CUTER THAN PRATCHETT!!!

 

My Grandfather

My grandfather passed away on Monday. Normally I wouldn’t say anything, it was something that would happen eventually and now that it has happened, we should move on. But my grandfather was more than just a grandparent – I wouldn’t even be where I am today if not for him. I want to write this so I’ll always remember how much he loved me, and how much I love him.

I never though about it much, but when he was ill in the hospital I knew I had to tell him how much he meant to me, and how much he had done for me and my family. We’re not an overly sentimental family, so a lot of these words were left unsaid. And for my grandfather, a lot of what he did that made my left better, he did out of responsibility as the head of the family. He did this not just for me, but for countless sisters, nephews, nieces, cousins and in-laws, and random people (of course I got a little bit extra, being the grandchild.heh).

When I think about all the things he’s done, expecting nothing in return, I feel so proud. It’s weird, when he was alive, if anything happened in the family, I knew he’d always fix it. I think I always expected him to be there, fixing things and making everything okay. But now I actually look back and I think, My god, he did so much for so many people – he changed lives, and what the heck have I done? Over a quarter of a century on this earth and I’ve helped zero people – and I can’t even admit to having the active intention to. What sort of people exist now that my grandfather seems like a myth?

Why aren’t I sadder about his passing? I am sad, very, very sad. I love him and I’ll miss him so much. But he had people, not just me, who really and truly loved him; and he really and truly loved us. He had a full life – adventure, danger, romance. He cheated death several times (the number varies according to whom you ask). I feel like there is nothing to regret here with him. Oh, I wish he had stuck around a little longer, maybe met his great-grandkids. But that isn’t a real regret. So that is all. A life well-lived, no regrets and full of people who loved and were loved by him.

Snow White and the Huntsman Review

So I watched it last night (sneakily and with much drama involving Seth’s car breaking down, having to borrow my mother’s car under false pretences because I was supposed to watch Prometheus with my brother today but excused myself to study – and then went of happily to watch SWATH). And I have to say it was worth watching. It’s not a perfect movie – some parts are a bit rough and just unnecessary, but otherwise I enjoyed it. Because Chris Hemsworth.

I know everyone wants to know just how bad Kristen Stewart was. Because she was pretty bad in Twilight, wasn’t she? I sometimes think I could take the movies seriously if I pretended she was Ellen Page or Falco from the Neverending Story. Anyway. I think that if the director wanted an awkward, innocent, not particularly likeable but doesn’t inspire strong feelings either, very SAP princess, then she did a good job. And I think that’s what they wanted right? Some kind of dorky noob princess. Otherwise I can’t explain her casting. But aside from that I had a real problem reading her expressions.

I know, I know. Old complaint. Everyone says the same thing. But…I WITNESSED it. Like when the Huntsman asks her why she didn’t tell him she was the princess, she doesn’t look like UH OH BUSTED. She just sort of looks mildly uncomfortable. And when the Huntsman compliments her on her armour – the scene after he saves her life by kissing her – she does this thing. With her face. It’s like. I don’t know how to describe it. At first I thought she was being shy, but then, there wasn’t enough shyness in her expression. It was just like, oh my lip’s kind of itchy and did you say something? I was really confused about how she felt about the Huntsman. And about Will. And also about Ravenna (do you hate her, Snow White? Or pity her? Or want to hug her? Or lead a rebellion against her? What is it? TELL ME!!). She really reminded me of Shaw’s Saint Joan + a really watered down Mononoke.

Charlize Theron was awesome. Exquisite. Occasionally OTT, but nothing too horrible. And I felt so bad for her. I agreed with her most of the time. You’re totally right Ravenna. Why wouldn’t I support you? Men are terrible and women are just as bad, and no one deserves to live. You don’t feel that way about Snow. I don’t even know exactly what her fight is. At one point they’re stuck at the Queen’s gates and the old dude says to turn back, and Snow says, ‘No, I promised them!’ Promised who? Promised what? Why don’t you look like Arwen? WHY?

And I’m sorry to be a shallow prig but. This is Snow White. Snow White is more beautiful than the Queen. Kristen Stewart is not as beautiful as Charlize Theron. I’M SORRY. I hated that I kept judging her for it. I tried to stop myself by saying that clearly, when the mirror meant fairest, it meant inner beauty. Right? But then why was Ravenna the fairest of them all all this while? And why, when heralding Snow’s usurpation of her, did the mirror tell Ravenna that she was once the fairest, but there exists another who is now fairer than her? Clearly any sow on the roadside would have won the inner beauty contest against Ravenna. Clearly they were both being judged based on their one similarity – feminine good looks.

It really bothered me. Actually, now that I think about it, the Huntsman and the Queen are the only characters that have any depth. William and Snow are insipid – and thus suitable for each other. Hey. Wait. Now I’m getting a little upset. Snow doesn’t exactly have much of a personality. No spunk, no Juno. How the heck did someone like the Huntsman – who had a sad backstory, who did a heel-face turn, who is an actual character – end up falling in love with her (or at least liking her enough to kiss her momentarily cold, dead corpse)?? Because she’s beautiful? Because she’s an accidental healer? I can’t think of why else. And that’s really just damned insulting. Why is William so devoted to her? Because he remembers her as some idealised playmate? Because now she’s beautiful? What? I didn’t understand it at all. What if she had been fat and ugly? Would he still have continued his quest for her? I better stop here. I’m making myself upset.

Anyway. 2.5 shiny balls of light out of 5.

 

Legion Of Superheroes:Teenage Revolution

I’ve been watching Young Justice. I’ve turned into a YJ addict. Everytime a new episode comes out, my brother and I download it religiously into the holy hard drive, and then we make a procession of setting it up and watching it on tv. It’s awesome. I know, there are tonnes more awesome, age-appropriate stuff to watch. But next on my list is Ika Musume so no complaining. 

Anyway, I’ve always been team Marvel. No interest in DC. Thanks to YJ, my brother and I are working to rectify this. We’ve purchased 3 TPs in as many weeks, all pre-new 52 though. One of them was Legion of Superheroes #1 : Teenage Revolution .

Like I said, I know very little of the DC universe, what more the 30th century (is it 30th?) DCU. So basically teenagers galaxies over are rebelling against the stagnant peacefulness and rigidity that is their life, and they band together to help people and fight boredom under the name Legion of Superheroes. They all have flight rings, so they can all fly, solving the mass transportation problem. 

While they’re doing their good samaritan thing, they discover that there is a greater evil that threatens all of the, uh, terrestrials (is that racist towards aliens with no feet? Speciest?) and all that, and the person behind it some mysterious dude whom Dream Girl saw in a dream. That’s about it for the first issue.

This is a re-imagining of the original LSH, who were lamer and didn’t have an acceptable excuse for their lame names (the excuse here is pretty good: since they idolise the heroes of the past, they choose to name themselves according to their customs. So everyone is This Lass or That Boy or Whatever Girl). The personal stories of some of the Legionnaires revealed in the TP were interesting – especially Triplicate Girl’s. A bit sad too. Phantom Girl’s doesn’t really make sense though. After they revealed that she exists in two dimensions at once, and people can see her in one dimensions doing whatever she is doing in the other, I kept wondering how she peed. Did she ever get any privacy to use the washroom? I’m sorry but urinary comfort is very important to me. 

It was okay, I guess, but I wouldn’t pick up the next TP. The characters are too unfamiliar to me. I’ll stick with the JSA-ers for now. 

Less Angry Post

Sugarplum and I were to make lists to see what we had in common and if we could use them for wedding-card inspiration. I made a list…he didn’t. Not really. So we talked about it and I helped him make the list. We had done games, books, etc. Then came movies.

SP: Star Wars.

Me: Of course.

SP: I like Star Trek too.

Me: *silence*

SP: Okay, I don’t like Star Trek.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman. I wasn’t expecting much from it, but the trailer looks pretty good. It might shape up to be a good retelling, and I like retellings. Except Hollywood has made retellings into a garbage dump of tired, overused cliches that no one cares about anymore. Thanks, Hollywood (and before anyone says I shouldn’t watch Hollywood movies if I’m going to be a bitch about Hollywood, then let me say that if there was no Hollywood, I wouldn’t give two shits except that there wouldn’t be anymore The Superficial updates and the possibility of a Firefly reunion would be well and truly scrapped).

But this retelling here of Charlize Theron’s boobs (that Seth claims he didn’t notice. Yeah right) and K-Stew in armour looks interesting at least. Thor showing up wasn’t as jarring as I thought it would be. And I love all that raven shit going down. Let there be ravens! And bats! Hopefully there’ll be a slinky black cat that bursts into a gazillion black geometric crystals when K-Stew White nudges it with her steel toe.

What I don’t really buy is Stewart as Snow White. She doesn’t look like a princess. You know who looks like a fairy tale princess? Liv Tyler. Amanda Seyfried. Emily Blunt. Megan Fox (okay, she doesn’t look like a princess. but she’s stupidly hot). Stewart looks like a butch. I don’t mean she looks like a man or she looks like a transvestite. I just mean that if in Twilight while she was moping around in her stupid boy clothes of jeans and shapeless top, she had grabbed her blonde best friend and made out with her in some corner I would not have been surprised. I would have been, I knew that would happen. Because I’m psychic.

And come on. Do you really look at Stew and think, Goddamn, she looks like a fairytale princess? Hell no! I look at her and think, at some point in her fairytale, she’s going to wear man clothes. And since she wore armour, I guess I’m right and this is the fairytale for her. But I still don’t buy it. Maybe I’m just used to more conventional princesses like Aurora and Ariel and Belle who were just really pretty and flounced around in dresses and sang. Stewart doesn’t look like she’d ever sing. Not to the woodland animals, and not to her prince charming (about that. who the heck is the guy? i can tell he’s pretty unimportant from the trailer since he got like 0.45 seconds that weren’t even a headshot. but do they really have to choose the most insipid looking people to play princes now? it’s like insipid people suddenly have a wider range of characters to choose from – prince charming, best friend, villain, reality tv star. it’s like that emo hipster guy in Red Riding Hood. seriously wtf). Stewart looks like she’d open her mouth and breath depression and dysthymia on everyone until they wilted and died and their souls looked just like her face. I don’t mean people’s souls look like butches, I meant they look perpetually suspended between abject misery and uncertain uncertainty. Like limbo. Stewart’s face looks like limbo.

Anyway, I’d watch it. Even if the trailer music reminded me of Tron.

This Post

Reading the newspapers really pisses me off nowadays. I think to myself, how can these people write this sort of absolute and total BS? I mean, really. I know I technically write for the papers too, so I figure these people are similar to myself. So when they file stories or whatever, do they roll their eyes? Snigger when writing down quotes from local politicians about issues that involve the people? Do they? I don’t really blame them though, not many people have the freedom of living purely by their principles. We all need to put bread on the table.

So after the whole Seksualiti Merdeka fiasco where the sexist, moronic Bung Mokhtar gave his 2 sen why it cannot beheld (It will promote baby dumping. Baby. Dumping. Because couples of the same gender have tonnes of children they don’t know what to do with, yeah? Idiot. The highest section of society that contributes to baby dumping is actually married couples who can’t afford another child. I do believe that going into politics immediately makes you incapable of using Google or your brain), comes the PPSMI thing.

Which I shall not talk about. Because I’m starting to feel like the purpose of my writing is just to complain complain complain. Sure, that’s what I do a lot of in real life, but it should stay there. Some of it anyway.